The need to write something down is pulling itself from the tips of my fingers into my keyboard. The springs under each key bouncing back with a pop that says, push me down again... again... again! Children on a trampoline, bouncing and laughing.
But I am not laughing. I am actually angry today. A sullen, dark anger that has been building for several weeks and finally exploded out of me in a volcanic rush of acidic remarks and sulfuric tears. It's still rumbling inside of me, an ulcerated stomach with no promise of relief from a magic purple pill.
There are several things about anger that I understand now. I understand why red is an angry color. The backs of my eyelids are prominently red from exhaustion. Anger makes me tired. I understand why anger is bad for my health. My back is in knots and my head is throbbing in time with my accelerated pulse.
What I don't understand is why I can't let it go. I want to. I really do. I don't like feeling like this. But I can't. It's like it's attached itself to my insides and is driving me in close marching formation toward the battlefield, and all I want to do is trip over my fallen comrades, cry for a little while, and look up and see the sunlight breaking through the clouds with a wry, wistful smile of wonder and healing on my face.
Yeah. It so doesn't work that way. So today I'm dealing with anger with too many adjectives and a hope that my poor keyboard recovers from the forceful strokes of my belligerent fingers.
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